— BladekindEyewear’s Cherub Backstory Theoryguide —
ARANEA: Once upon a time……..
ARANEA: There was a very mysterious alien race called cheru8s!
The cherub backstory had a bunch of parallels and metaphors for what’s already happened in Homestuck, and - more importantly - what will happen in Homestuck.
I’m going to go through the story Aranea told, step by step — all of it — and point out what I think everything means: the side-purposes Andrew had in choosing every element of the cherubs’ racial backstory. As the author often does in this comic, every paragraph has a hidden motive, whether to reference earlier events, clue you in to future ones, reveal the systems underneath the story, or all three at once.
I’m mostly going to be referring to earlier theories of mine you may have already read, but I’m also going to formalize and clarify some other ones I’ve only mentioned in passing, as well as conflicting possibilities that might cover events. If you’ve followed me for a long time, you may get a bit bored, but this will refresh those of you who haven’t on some of what I’m on about! There’s a lot to go over here, including:
- Genesis Angels
- The AURYN-like Ultimate Juju / “Reality Key”
- (AURYN and Cherubs — I didn’t end up going into this as much here, so click the link instead, and laugh at Past Me thinking this post would be done a year ago!)
- The Reckoning as Procreation
- Frog Consumption
- Space and Time == Creation and Destruction
- Before the Beginning and After the End
- The Green Sun’s Destruction
- The Final Reckoning
- Dual Dead Calliopes
- Caliborn’s Contract Worldbuilder
- The Third Scratch — Addendums to Knight to D6
- Davesprite Dad
- Universe-Gleaming Stiller Shades
- Vriska’s Afterlife Trek == Caliborn’s Session
Let’s get started under the cut! Warning, this is LONG AS FUCK — long and imagey enough to crash the Tumblr mobile app — so bring a bookmark and a nightcap.
When Lilo graduated from High School, Grand Councilwoman immediately calls her and tells her that she is really interested for her to become a future Captain of the Galactic Armada, but for her to do that she will first have to attend G.A.C.C. (Galactic Alliance Community College). Lilo is happy for the offer, but says that she will only accept if Stitch could go with her.
With the Councilwoman’s approval, both friends waste no time to pack their bags, excited of what their future awaits.
I would watch this so hard
Lilo and Stitch is my favourite Disney film of all times, and I’d definitely watch this.
Infinity Guitars by Sleigh Bells
The perfect soundtrack to:
- smashing the patriarchy
- applying flawless winged eyeliner, then executing a fascist dictator
- overthrowing the government, then starting a society of badass punk amazon women
- robbing the white house in louboutins
- dancing around ur room like a nerd
Q:Between the two rings, proposals, rampant shipping, and even ~ath (as in "til death do us part"), should we be expecting a wedding at the end of all this?
You know, I never thought of that!
If there was an onscreen marriage at the end of this comic, then in terms of overall likelihood — factoring in ring-use, compatibility, non-controversiality, age/maturity and relationship development duration — it would doubtlessly have to be between WV and PM. Absolutely everyone would attend.
Karkat would cry buckets.
EDIT: 11eagle said:
And being as PM is now the Queen of Prospit, would that make WV a King?
PM would graciously step down and run for elected office instead. (Hm, most likely… let’s say Prime Minister.)
Q:So after reading your Knight to d6 theory, I feel that I can see most of it happening, but there is one thing that gnaws on me: where are they getting a scratch construct from? Both the kids and trolls' constricts are already used and I don't see there being one on Caliborn's planet. Just because he's a time player doesnt guarantee that there is one on his planet.
That’s a big concern. In fact, I agree with you about Caliborn’s planet: As I mention in the megalithic Cherub Post, the wording Andrew’s self insert used to describe the “types of sessions” directly implies that a Dead Session would not have a “scratch construct” like the Beat Mesa or Cardinal Movement, since there’s supposedly no hope for reproduction to be had even through such extreme measures.
So, where would the protagonists get a spare scratch construct to scratch his session?
I have no idea.
That’s honest. A scratch construct is an incredibly powerful thing, an entity which by all rights shouldn’t be accessible to any session where it isn’t already available. The creation of one should be limited to freshly instantiated sessions; if players could generate a spare in sessions without one, well, it simply wouldn’t be fair. There are limits to individuals’ role powers, too, sensible limits which keep reality itself (or our ability to care about it) from breaking, like Jane’s “one resurrection per person” limit on her god-tier Life powers. Therefore, we can’t expect Roxy to be able to conjure one from thin air.
Heheheh… “out of thin air”, heheh. And how John inspired her to use her powers better, get it? I mean, uh… never mind, moving on.
Keep in mind that this doesn’t invalidate the “Third Scratch” theory! The foreshadowing is heavyhanded enough for us to expect that a Third Scratch will somehow occur successfully. It’s just a matter of ‘how’, and this facet of ‘how’ currently has no satisfying explanation we can decide on.
What explanations CAN we scrounge up? I’ll give you four possibilities, ones off the top of my head or that we’ve discussed earlier, others have suggested, none without their flaws…
For a friend who had troubles keeping track of the different sexual orientations. Sorry for not including all of them, I included the most common ones.
The illustration for Poly, Pan and Omni are just examples, of course.
Here’s a test:
I’m holding a baby in one hand and a petri dish holding a fetus in the other.
I’m going to drop one. You chose which.
If you really truly believe a fetus is the same thing as a baby, it should be impossible for you to decide. You should have to flip a coin, that’s how impossible the decision should be.
Shot in the dark, you saved the baby.
Because you’re aware there’s a difference.
Now admit it